I think fixies are silly, and have spent my life laughing at fashion, partly through sour grapes as a result of having been born terminally uncool (I can’t be too uncool – the cat has just spent a few minutes licking my nose). But mainly I laugh at fashion because it seems to evolve out of practicality but become impractical. There are so many things we see that are nonsensical – off-road vehicles that can’t go off road, unrideable bicycles, pointlessly large houses, clothing that doesn’t keep the wearer warm or comfortable, jewellery that is uncomfortable and grotesque, and a multitude of other things.

So, Mr Snob, keep up the good work and puncture the pretensions of those who ride a bike for an image of toughness or fashion or some other reason about which I can’t be bothered to speculate. Laugh at them Mr Snob, and in doing so try to help them realise that fashion and consumerism and such things are just more ways of wasting our time and money when we should doing far more important things like having fun.

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